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You Have To Be Kidding Me?, Chapter 1: Old Friend
"You have to be kidding me?" Xegger could not help but to stare at Kid's face. The golden hair maiden had to be kidding. There was no way she was actually asking him this question, but yet her green eyes stayed firm. Her resolve was completely unwavered. She was fucking serious. "Listen Xegger", she started, but the grey knight slamming his iron tanker onto the table. "What in your right mind makes you think that I would help you find a way home?! Me and you both know I love this place!" "Yes, yes, Xegger. I know you like the romance and the power, but ..." "But what Kid!? There is no way I am going to give this up! This is everything I have ever wanted. Look at me! I am a Knight! Do you have any idea how long I have wanted to wear this kind of armor? I mean just look at the way ..." "Look Xegger I don't want to go into your armor fetish!" "For the last time, I do not have a fucking armor fetish! Damn it! Your just as bad as the fucking captain." "Ok, now you have crossed the line." "You crossed it two sentences ago." "Look Xegger we are getting off topic." "Not really, there really is no topic. I ain't going home. As matters of facts go, this is my home. So I take that sentence back. I ain't leaving home. I refuse to go back to that mundane world and it's mundane problem." "Look Xegger! I am not asking you to go home!" "This is my home." "Not the point Xegger. I just need you to travel with me while I search for a way to return to our original world. It is too dangerous for me to go alone and my previous attempts to find the source nearly got me killed. I need another blade if I even hope to get though Goblin's Gorge." "Ok first off, this seems like a lot of Not my problem. I, don't want to go home! So I see no reason to join you on your quest." "Oh come on! You know your the only person I can turn to." "And who's fault is that kid? I know it is not mine. I am not the one who called the entire adventure guild a pack of lazy guild rats." "Oh come one! Me and you both know that they where! Those scared lazy shits would not even fight against the troll king! Talking about it smells bad!" "it did." "Indeed, the worst thing I have ever smelt. I had to throw my spider silk dress out." "Oh! So that is what happen to your Asuna Suit! I really liked that one." "Well I have another one, but to be honest it is a bit under leveled. Once we hit the spider gorge I could try to get some extra silk to reinforce the new one. The light armor could prove useful on the journey." "Oh no you don't! You are not suckering me into helping you. I like anime cosplay as much as the next guy, but I ain't following you into danger on a promise of a pretty dress. What do you take me for?" "My battle buddy." "That was back in the war. If I remember correctly the war ended two years ago. Since then you have been running solo or with that group of female adventures. Speaking of which why won't you go and recruit them." "Not possible. to be honest they would be my first choice." "Thanks for letting me know I am your sloppy seconds", scuffed the Grey Knight as he downed the last of his drink inside of his tanker. "Oh, don't be so bashful! Me and you both know how female adventures are treated around here." "Ahh, true enough. Being a female in a world of monsters and magic is difficult. Especially ..." "Lets not go into THAT please." "Fair enough, still you did not tell me why you did not recruit your girls." "And you still have not said yes yet." "Keep waiting, because it is never going to come." "We will see about that." "What is that suppose to mean?" "Galla got pregnant." "Wait what! Galla, the Galla. The man hating Galla!" "Yep, that is the one." "By God, I thought she was gay!" "So did all of us." "Who would have guessed that Bulldagger would actually be a lady." "Xegger!" "What?" "No! none of that! Don't you call ..." "Ah fuck that Kid! Galla was a fucking Bulldagger. She was eight feet tall, four feet wide, and had fucking horns sticking out of her head!" "That was because she had a affinity for bulls, and her class was Minotaur knight. It changed her race ...' "Don't you dare start throwing class and Affinity into it! Affinity is understandable! You don't chose your affinity, but class. We all chose our classes." "Indeed we did, but that does not mean she is a bulldagger! She just like the idea of being a cow girl. Many men find it to be attractive. Considering ..." "Stella! Yes, she was a fine girl she was. It is a pity she married Darth Khan. She is to good for that lout." "Indeed, I agree, but no amount of words could convince her. Still, that just proves my point that Minotaur knight class does not mean bulldagger. She just wanted to be a Cow Girl like Stella did." "Kid, come on, lets be serious here. We all know that Galla had a taste for women." "Apparently not, considering she got pregnant." "I know, and that is why this is blowing my mind! You have to tell me. Who is the father?" "Anyway, Grace ended up joining the newly formed mages guild." "Oh come on! Your not going to tell me." "Lisa, is now working as a tailor and she is currently engaged to a farmer on the outskirts of Arc." "Eww, NPC relationship." "Oh cut it out Xegger. Me and you both know that the people here are not NPcs. I figured that stupid ideology would have ended after The War." "Mostly yeah. To be honest, i was joking around." "Yeah, I can tell, but the fact that you said it just brings up bad memories. Remember Heavens Field?" "How could I not. ... you know, I can still hear the screams of the little Orc babies, and the pride of the Blessed as they marched their battalion though the city. I wanted nothing more than too ..." "All the more reason to go home Xegger", spoke Kid seizing the moment. "Remember the old world?" "I remember it", grunted Xegger as he looked into his empty cup. "Then you should ...' "There was war and genocide there too Kid. The only difference was that we were the arrogant nobles who lived in the center of the safe city while other people were the soldiers on the front lines. At least here I don't have to worry about nuclear bombs whipping out the planet." "Yes indeed", spoke Kid in a sarcastic tone. "No more nuclear bombs, but instead you get wizards, werewolves, litches, and undead to worry about. Who cares that a crazy old dude can cause the ground to open up and swallow you whole, or crazy ex girlfriend can summon up a firestorm to burn down your home. Yep, the new world is so much safer than our old one. Even ..." "Ok, ok, I get it. The new world ain't perfect." "Good, I hope you remember that! It will make our journey a lot easier." "God have mercy, your still on that. Come on Kid! I already told you no." "And I already made it clear that I was not going to take no for a answer! You are all I got Xegger." "And?" "So you have to help me." Xegger gave off a long sigh. "Come on Kid. Me and you both know the world does not work that way." "Yeah, but you do. I have known you for the last four years Xegger. I know what kind of person you are. Your not one to leave people hanging in the dirt and your not one to abandon the people you love." "Are you trying to say that I love you?" "Nope, not trying, but outright stating it. Xegger, your in love with me." "Pshaw!". Xegger begins to laugh. "if that was your best ploy Kid then you need to get a new one. There is no way I am in love with you! Hell, I don't even know what love is. You remember that conversation we had." "Yes I remember and for your information that does not mean you have been cut off by love. That just meant that you have not experience it yet. Everyone has the capacity to love Xegger." "Well not everybody", spoke the grey knight as he took a few coins out of his pocket and placed them down on the table. "I have never experienced love, nor do I care to. You can spat out all of the nonsense you want to, but me and you both known that your eyes for Love do not see a string around my finger." "That is where you are wrong, Xegger, and the reason why I came to you. I do see a string around your finger." "For the last time women, I ..." "I did not say it was a red string", shouted the maiden. All the eyes in the tavern turned and looked at the two. "It was purple! A purple string! You do know what ..." "Purple represents Storge, or family love. What your trying to say is that I see you as family." "Yes that is exactly what I am saying! You love me! The same way you would love a sister. The same way you loved and still love your brothers. " "..., listen" "Don't abandon me Xegger!" The maiden's face suddenly went stern as her strong green eyes pierced into Xeggers mundane brown. After a moment that seemed to last forever she finally spoke again. "You are all I got left Xegger. You where there when Marcus ... when Marcus got turned by the wolf." "..., yes I remember ..." "You where there when Rainbow got run through by a Orc pikeman." "I remember ..." "You where there when ... when ..." Xegger took a deep breath as he attempted to fight back against the tears. He could not allow it, but Kid she was crying freely. She was letting all of her emotions come flooding out. Xegger was jealous. "The point is", she spoke as she recovered. "You are all that I got left. I can't call on anyone else, nor can I stay in this city any longer. The emotions, the pain, all of it is attacking me all at once. I can no longer say in Arc. If I stayed any longer ..." Her eyes drifted toward the bridge and the swift waters that flowed under it. "Damn it!" The grey knight cursed as he slammed his fist against the table. This time the wooden structure splatted into a thousand pices as Xegger forgot to hold back his strength. "You got to go and pull the guild trip. Fine! Fucking fine! I do love you, like a sister! So I will help you, but lets make one thing clear. I am not going back to the modern world! I refuse to return to earth! Category:Story Category:LordNoodleXIV Story Category:WIP Category:You Have To Be Kidding Me?